My facebook status today makes me giggle like a little girl:
"My hubby is so sweet for painting my toenails. And, I am trying to be sweet back by not grabbing the nail-polish remover. My toes are a mess:-)"
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But, moving onto other things. I dealt with something this morning that absolutely broke my heart, and I am hoping to get some advice from you guys.
This morning, just after 7:30 a.m., I was pulling up to the kids' school. My son hopped out of the car, followed by my daughter, who is in the 2nd grade. She hesitated as she stepped out and just started crying ... no, sobbing.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I left my homework on my desk. Me teacher's going to get mad at me!"
Her face was bright red and she was trying to catch her breath between words. "Why would she be mad?" I asked her.
"Because she always gets mad when kids forget their homework. She always gets mad."
"Why would she get mad? Does she get mad a lot?"
"Yes ... when kids don't do what they're supposed to."
"Well, I have to go to work. Tell her you'll bring it tomorrow."
I thought that would do the trick. But, she wouldn't stop. She was crying profusely ... incessantly.
"She's going to be ... mad ... at ... me," she said again, stammering her words.
"Well, I'll have daddy bring it, okay?"
I watched as she walked away, with her purple floral backpack draping over her shoulder. It broke my heart. And I remembered the first time I met her teacher. I mean, how could I forget? I was scared to leave her classroom (early) during our open house. I remember the looks I got from the others--we were all seemingly intimidated by her.
And then ... remember that newsletter that came home that started out this way: "Most of your children are a delight to teach"
And it bothered me at first, but then my daughter kind of became one of her favorite pupils, so I figured that all was well in the classroom. And I'd ask her every day: How was school? Is your teacher a nice lady?
You know ... things like that.
So, what do I do? My first inclination was to call the principal and demand to have my child moved to another class room. But, what lesson would that be teaching her? To run when things get tough. But, on the other hand, what if the environment is too stressful for learning? I want her to be comfortable in her class room.
Today, when she came home, she told me that her teacher was a little "disappointed" about the homework. Not upset; just disappointed.
Any advice? Do I do anything else? Do I let it go? Do I say anything to the teacher? What ... exactly ... do I do? I understand that kids can make things seem worse than they are; but I also understand that sometimes we, as parents, brush things off when we shouldn't.
... help?
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4 comments:
The teacher should not be getting so openly angry at the children that your daughter has that much fear in her about honestly forgetting her homework! Do you know any of the other moms of the children in her class that you could ask them about their children's feelings about this teacher? I would try to casually talk to the teacher and ask her why she thinks your daughter was so upset. Your daughter must have seen or heard something in her class to have been so worried. Kids won't just make up something like that...your little girl had a reaction when she realized she forgot her work because of something that happened in the classroom. Maybe there is one student that constantly is forgetting his work and the teacher has 'had it' with that student and is being too verbal about it in front of the other students...There are lots of scenarios with of course one of them being that the teacher is just too aggressive and tough with children of this age.
Hope that helps some...good luck
Suzy- your daughter's teacher is leaving an bad impressional on these kids by getting mad at them. It surely is putting "fear" into these children that they are afrid to go to school if something is not done right. Almost like going to catholic school in the old days.
I would be concern about this and ask for a teacher/parent conference and bring this up. Your daughter shouldn't have that kind of emotional fear.
We all forget things as we hussel and bussel in life...it happens.
Even to adults. Mistakes happens but they shouldn't be left in fear cuz they forgot their assignment which they did complete on a table.
I don't know your daughter well or at all, so I don't know if she was "over -reacting" or if she was serious about the teacher but just reading your blog, I took it serious and it bothered me that she was emotional wreck over the teacher "being mad" for forgetting her homework.
I would go in and talk to the teacher about it and if you don't get anywhere with her, then go to the principal.
I think that if I were in your shoes, I'd talk to my daughter to find out exactly what her teacher does when she gets upset with a student. Ask her if it scares her or just makes her sad. It seems to me like she might have a couple of trouble students with parents who are not as involved as they should be. If she simply told your daughter she was disappointed, she probably knows that she is usually very responsible and "a pleasure to teach."
Then I would schedule a conference with the teacher and share your daughter's reaction to the whole situation. Oberve how the teacher responds. Does she simply laugh it off or does she show concern for your daughter's emotional well-being? Does she take you seriously when you share your concerns or does she try to minimize the situation? This is a great opportunity for the teacher to see how much your daughter wants to please her and do the right thing.
Then, I would watch my daughter cloesely to see how she is holding up. Are her grades falling? Is she more emotional at home than usual? Is she having nightmares?You get the idea.
It could be that her teacher feels she has to use fear and intimidation in order to keep control of the class, and that is not right. So definitely keep an eye on things!
We've all had a mean teacher or two. I remember my kindergarten teacher staring me straight in the eyes, ripping up a paper I proudly turned in because I forgot to write my name on it. It devastated me, but now as an adult, it's helped me to realize that some people will have unrealistic expections of me, and if I can't be perfect, well, that is not my problem. It isn't a copout, it's just the truth. Nobody can be perfect 100% of the time. Hopefully your daughter will catch on to that too.
God may be trying to teach/show your daughter something in this, and sometimes it's hard to stand back and watch your child go through hardships, so definitely keep that in mind. But I do not believe that God would expect you to stand by and allow your child to be exposed to emotional or bodily harm, so if you feel that she is being threatened in that way, pull her out of the class!
Wow. These comments mean so much to me. I read each one of them and very carefully. You all echoed the same sentiment--that I need to dig deeper, not ignore the situation. Thank you, from one mom to many of you. Thank you so much! Your perspectives on this issue especially means so much to me.
I will keep you posted!
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